It has been a long while since I lasted posted.... I would like to say a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone on these boards.
FIB, J(25), I will respond to your two posts seperately....
A lot has happened and a lot has not happened since I last posted. I have been adjusting to my life now as a single Daddy. I have basically been doing it now for the last year... But now there is the dropping off and picking up of my beautiful girls. Along with the going out of my way to stay involved in my girls everyday life. Being an ex-athlete I kind of see this as a challenge...a test...a big game... that I don't plan on failing at... But no matter how well I am prepared or up to the task life is still going to throw curve balls my way.
Right now my girls are upstairs sound asleep in their beds. I cherish the moments that I have with them and look forward to seeing their bright smiling faces. They truly are awesome kids.
Over the last month or so I have been able to spend a lot of time with them. I had the whole first week of the new year with them. We went to an in door water park for a couple of days, went to a museum, and we went sledding, and we just hung out at the house. Right now this divorce is hardest on them. They look forward to being with me, being in their home, being in the bedrooms that they have slept in for years now. It is nice that my house is still their home.
Along with all that I have learned in the last year, I am still learning, and hopefully still becoming a better man and better father for my girls, for myself, and for whomever God leads me to.
I can honestly say that I am at the point where I am actually looking forward to whatever is in front of me. Last year I could not fathom life without my X. Now I have pulled myself together and am seeing that life with or without her is good. Yes, I did not want this D... I still think it was senseless...but it is what it is.... My R with my X did not workout for whatever the reasons maybe. I beat myself up for a longtime blaming myself... I looked for answers.... I looked for a broken R cure... I did not find one.... I did find myself though. I found that I am more the fun loving easy going Scott that I used to be. I find that I am more at easy with my girls. Some people think I am a little nuts doing all the things that I do with my girls. But I am not going to let this D short change my girls...they are to precious for that.
So... now I sit here as a 30yr old divorced Dad of two girls and I am fine with that. Sure things financially are now tighter, sure there is a little more hectic-ness in my life....that is fine. I am doing well and know that life is going to keep moving forward. In 07 my life was torn apart into pieces, I am slowly putting it back together and looking forward to whatever pieces might get put into it.
For all of you out there I encourage you to stand for what you feel is right. Walk with grace and dignity. That is all you can do... You are in-charge of yourself, make sure that you can be proud of who you are no matter how your sitch turns out. Mine did not go as I had hoped....but I am not ashamed of how I handled it...life is moving forward.
I feel kind of silly adding this to this post but oh well. Today, for the first time in a longtime I heard about the actions of my X. Two separate convo's, two separate stories. First one was with my cousin. I called her today to see if our kids could play together and got into a conversation with her about my X. My cousin goes to the church that my X now attends and that is what brought on the conversation. She is now seeing my X for the person that she is, not who she thought her to be. I guess my cousin saw my X walking hand in hand with OM in church the other day. It sounded like my X is still trying to hide her R because when they saw my cousin they dropped hands and quickly walked away from each other. Then my cousin went and described the OM to a T. The crazy thing that I am finding out is that I have worked through my feelings about my X and now others are having too when things like this get thrown their way.
The second convo was with my friend whom I have talked about before.... His STBX used to work with my X and still hangs out with a lot of the nurses from my X's work. I guess a group of them got together this weekend with my friends STBX. One of the topics that came up was that they where happy to hear that I have a girl friend. Now, I am not dating anyone right now. I had to laugh at this one. Not sure where it came from...don't really care either...
