If it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all. I feel for you man. I dont know what to recommend for you as you have a difficult situation right now. You need to talk to your lawyer.
My friend and cousin had warned me to strike first and strike hard and get the D over as fast as possible otherwise it only becomes more expensive. I know you realize that now. Dont fret about what you should have done. You had good intentions of saving your M at the time.
Another thing my friend told me was that it gets better financially following the D. From your situation, it sure seems that it can only get better emotionally. I dont know much about bi-polar, but you are probably right about cutting your losses and moving on. Just keep in mind that you still need to deal with your STBXW for many many more years and lets hope she gets treatment otherwise it could be very difficult.
Just focus on yourself and your S, stay away from the sauce, have faith and all will be ok. You can do it. I am sending you some Good Luck.
