Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[newnamenewlife]

Treese, I am sure after 29 years, it must be impossible to imagine living without him. Really, that is a long, long time. I hope I didn't make it seem like I thought it would be easy. It's easy for me to hear about your H and think he deserves to be kicked out, but of course you could say the same about mine based on what I share here. None of this stuff is black and white for those of us in the midst of it. I think an OW would push me over the edge, but who knows. When you truly love someone, it's hard and complicated.

After 3 mos of this crap from my H, I am now starting to feel like he should just leave and get it over with. If it's inevitable, then I want to be put out of my misery now, ya know? And yet, of course, that is so much easier said than done, even for him.

How do people separate when they have kids? It's not like we fight and make our kids' lives awful and so they'll understand on some level. We spend time together as a family a LOT and mostly have fun. The kids see H & I joking around and being affectionate (although not so much anymore, sadly). They will be shocked.

Do you do it with a talk right away, or should H & I try to let them figure it out first--ie he sleeps on the couch for a while, then we stop doing things as a couple, etc? The thing is, I know my D11 and if she knew we were sleeping separately, she would ask about it a lot and what was wrong and did we have a fight, etc?

I can't even figure out how to begin to separate on a concrete, kid-sensitive level. UGHHHH. I wish my stupid H would just come around. I KNOW if he and I made our M a priority and worked a little on re-kindling the love, we could do it. All it takes is his willingness--but that's the problem--he can't make himself do it.