Just bought a 1 way non-refundable ticket to Dtown

[Yoyowife]

H4C,
Of course the most logical thing would be to confront your wife about your findings, but we know that you can't do that because you don't want to get your daughter involved anymore in this mess than she already is.

I do think you need to set boundaries though. You need to tell your W until OM moves out you don't see anyway that your relationship can proceed with her. Why can't she just stay with you and let him take over the apartment? Is the lease in her name? Can she break the lease?

I see only two options: he leaves or she moves elsewhere. Why must they always worry about the OP so much? Their loyalties should be with their families, but unfortunately we know that the OP somehow develops a very strong bond to them. Sometimes it seems that it is much stronger than the marital bond.

It seems that she has been the one pursuing you, so I think you can get tougher with your boundaries. Perhaps you can tell her until he is out of the house you intend on keeping your relationship on platonic level, that you will only communicate with her concerning daughter. Do this in a firm, but loving way.

I think tough love is the best route to take with her.