Jen, if that's rambling, then you're a pretty damned good rambler.
I could not agree with you more. Simply sitting around, waiting for the cheating spouse to "oh pretty please come back to me" disgusts me, to be honest with you.
I'm glad you told your husband that he had a decision to make, and I think you were smart not to do counseling or work on the marriage until he DOES make that decision. It's a physiological fact that the endorphines and other brain chemicals raging thru a wayward spouse's body while they're in an active affair make them unable to meet any of the betrayed spouse's emotional needs, nor are they in a position to have THEIR needs met, other than by the OW/OM.
