My soulmate and I are back together after7 years of being apart! When we got back together Sex was awesome, However Now i wake in the middle of the nite or first thing in the morning to find him Masterbating out on the couch and usually to porn. I am right in bed, Always sexually ready I have never said no to him, When we get in bed at nite he goes right to sleep, I know it is not ed as he always masterbates until he orgasms? Please someone help me or is our relighionship over?
Do not follow me i may not lead, Do not lead me i may not follow, Walk with me and be my friend. Freezing in maine
So you know what you did wrong. Just back-track up that trail to the fork in the road and make a different choice. The funny thing about human psychological reflexes is that they pretty much always work.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Go out there, throw the porn away and do it for him...before he O's ask for your's too.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
It isn't private if it's affecting your sex life together, and your happiness. From your heartfelt post, it clearly is. For your own self-esteem if nothing else, you need to confront him about it. You can ask us and get all sorts of opinions and advice, but the person you really need to be talking to is your husband.
If you want to "catch" him at it, try to make it fun and include yourself. Say "Hmmm, mind if I help?" and just join him. Perhaps you can build a bridge from his habit back to you two as a couple. Mutual masturbation can be very erotic and satisfying for both parties. However, if you choose to confront him about it LATER, when he's NOT doing it, I would say "Honey, it hurts me to know you feel the need to look at pornography and relieve yourself every day when I'm right here almost any time you want me. I love you very much, and it makes me feel ________ when you do that. Do you understand?" ... and just let him talk.
It's not her job to help him with his porn habit anymore than it would be her job to help him if an alcohol addiction was interfering with his sex drive. All she needs to do is signal "I will not stay in a sexless marriage" and he can decide if he'd rather be alone with his porn. She could also tell him what a big turn-off it is for her to be married to someone with that kind of habit. I mean, think about it, would most women choose to date a guy whose profile said something like "One of my favorite hobbies is jacking-off to images of young Asian women doing unspeakable things with tropical produce." Highly doubtful.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I mean, think about it, would most women choose to date a guy whose profile said something like "One of my favorite hobbies is jacking-off to images of young Asian women doing unspeakable things with tropical produce." Highly doubtful.
Damn it Mojo! Between you and Corri...now I have to go on AFF and change my profile {IC scratches his head.."tropical fruit??? pineapples? ouch! Mango? ehh maybe I guess. Lemon? provide a little pucker?..........ahhhh I get it...Miss Chaquita }
No, I agree Mojo. I don't see this as her responsibility to help him.....itsmesrs I got to ask, I caught a post of yours on another thread...you said on there that you had been with this guy before..like 14 years ago....went your seperate ways...married someone else...guy shows back up...you divorce your husband to be with this guy again. What happened between you two 14 years ago that caused you to split up?
you said on there that you had been with this guy before..like 14 years ago....went your seperate ways...married someone else...guy shows back up...you divorce your husband to be with this guy again.
Ok. Now the "real" problem becomes clear. Waaaay too much romantic ego investment in this relationship.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Where did I say it was her job to help him with his porn addiction? I was suggesting either trying to turn his alone time into together time, or telling him that it hurts her when he does that and ignores her. Either way, she needs to confront him, and NOT continue to just let him do it practically right under her nose.
The porn addiction is HIS problem, but the affect it's having on their sex life is THEIR problem.
{IC scratches his head.."tropical fruit??? pineapples? ouch! Mango? ehh maybe I guess. Lemon? provide a little pucker?..........ahhhh I get it...Miss Chaquita 