I don't understand the 'have you done everything?' question. There's nothing left I can do. I can only accept this and heal myself.
What I am suggesting, and what others here are saying, is that your M is done when YOU say it is.
You are letting her set the dynamic. She is acting and you are reacting. You have given up already, even though you are still not thinking straight.
Break that cycle. Yes, heal yourself but don't slam the door shut until you are sure.
And even if you THINK you are through then think again.
Remember when I thought I was finished - go back and read what you posted to me to show that I was wrong. That advice built a better Jeff.
It is not over until the fat lady sings. Until then, DB principles apply. For YOU, not just the R.
When it is over, you have to look back and say you did everything. You have to say you forgive. You have to say that this is for the best. You have to remember the love.
You HAVE to - your emotional health requires it.
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This seems like 'R-Talk' which is counter to DB'ing. I'm not sure if it is a good or bad idea. Suggesting it may push her away.
I guess I can write her an e-mail with this idea. That way she doesn't have to 'debate' it with me. She can read it and choose her path. Comments?
