I am by no means an expert, but at this point I would say, as I have read on here before "drop the rope" for now. You gave her a card and a letter. She should be very aware of how you feel. Now give her time to think about that. About 10 days ago I gave my H a sort of "detach w love" letter. Told him he knows my goal is to reunite the family, but right now I have to work on myself and my happiness and that of our kids. Told him I will give him the time and space he needs to work on himself. (He is moving into an apt. to "figure out what he wants from life")Also said I am here to listen if/when he wants to talk. I left it at that. Noticed the next day (we are still in the same house for now) that the letter was not where I left it, and I didn't see it anywhere. A few days later he was cleaning out his truck and brought it in and put it on the table. I asked about it, he said he had taken it with him the day after I gave it to him and was going to put it back w/his things. So they DO read them even if they don't mention them. If you gave her a letter, she knows how you feel. Repeating yourself will just make her feel pressured, is my guess. So even though it stinks, just wait and see what happens, no pressure. And keep on with whatever GAL-180-DB stuff you may be doing. Good luck! I can imagine that in time clubbing will wear thin. My H was seeing the OW for 8 1/2 months. On 12/26 he picked her over me when I issued an ultimatum. On 12/30 he says he ended the A. On 1/15 he actually referred to her as "That PSYCHO", bc she is now pursuing him aggressively/obsessively. So it is amazing how things can change rapidly after being the same for so long.....
