BTW, A little something I did this morning was VERY effective...
A did a little websurfing on some job listing sites. I left one of the web pages up. When she came down for breakfast she looked at the computer and asked me what I was doing.
Me:"You know, here I am with all this military experience and a master's degree, and I just don't think I'm earning up to my potential. I think I could do better...I've kind of hit a ceiling where I'm at."
Her: (Speechless)
Me: "So I'm just kind of sticking my nose out there, doing a little focused searching."
Her: "Well, I think you COULD be earning more."
Me: "And I'm getting a little tired of this house and this neighborhood too...maybe it's time to do a little snooping around the housing market. I think we could do better."
Her: (Almost drops her tea)"Me too!"
Why did this work?
OK, I think one of the reasons she married me was because I was somewhat fearless and not afraid to take a calculated risk. Since I retired five years ago, maybe I've become a little too "safe" and "conservative". Maybe she misses that fearlessness a little bit. So I'm going to carry the ball a little further downfield.
I'm going to take some sailing lessons next week...
I remember my DB coach telling me I needed to go back to when we first started dating and "channel" that guy. There I was, a young, somewhat brazen 1st Lieutenant with a brand new set of wings on his chest.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Good job Bomb! My wife once told me to "be the man she Married" So far its been working. Except for the not farting in front of her...Hey I earned that :P
Gman
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Yesterday afternoon she called me at work (first time in a long time) and asked me if I wanted to go do a little shopping with her after work. Wow...that hasn't happened in a while.
We went to a few stores, chit-chatted, came home and fixed some dinner. So far, so good.
We made more small-talk at dinner. Then, she got guiet, and that Klingon look washed over her face.
Oh no. Here we go.
So I got a short round of the "I don't knows". In case you haven't heard these they go something like this: "I don't know what's going to happen to us. I just don't know. Maybe it was the kids that held us together. I don't know if I have the emotional energy to love you again. I just don't know."
I gently smiled and told her "I hear what you're sayinig and I know you feel uncertain about the future."
The rest of the evening was uneventful.
So, tell me what you think, but this is my hypothesis: when she starts feeling closer to me, when she starts to feel like her old self again, the Klingon throws up its shields. I think the key here is to keep doing what works until the shields become weak. Anyway, that's what I think.
Gman...good to here you're back on track. I have a dog who I usually blame for any pooting.
Jack...you don't know how many times I've wanted to do that. That day will come, I hope.
Later, folks...
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
You are "da man", the quickest study I've ever seen. You seem to make all the right moves and come across as being so cool about it under fire. I live near an AFB and as a rule the flight crew members I've met are a pretty level headed, steely nerved group, but you are the coolest.
As to the Klingon shield activation, I don't know if that is an actual response or a reflection of how much inner conflict is going on during mlc. I lean toward it being due to the inner conflict as so much that they say and do is conflicted; they want to run away, but still want contact, want a divorce, but still want to be family, do things they know will destroy us, but don't want to hurt us, etc.
Keep up the good work, outstanding!
Last edited by sleeper; 01/19/0804:16 PM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
Bomb if you identify an area where you feel self improvement is needed, great.
But don't forget "their" mlc is NOT about you.
They married you and knew what they were getting. I think becoming the person we were when they married us is a good strategy. Mine actually suggested I rediscover things I used to do and have stopped over the years. It's almost like as they regress they may more easily connect with us if we regress too.
Last edited by sleeper; 01/19/0804:27 PM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
