Well, let me reply to your questions: My kids are autistic and dyslexic so that's why I haven't put them in school or back in school as the case may be. It was a miserable failure for my 14S. They were having me tutor him in most of his subjects and still talking about retention, he was crying each day and having stomach aches each day (but just at school) and begging to home school, they said he was "in his own world" much of the time at school, etc. , he was hating school and reading, etc. and I have a Master's degree in Education, so home schooling seemed like a good solution. My kids love home schooling now btw, we get along well, and my 14 year old is doing pretty well with most of his subjects.
I did mention the 50% of his income law when he said the "room & board comment". I have an appt. with a divorce attorney next week to protect myself and the kids next week, although I did want to play more of a defensive role up until the point where my H actually files paperwork b/c I did have hopes that he would break up with the OW at some point before October and at that point we might reconcile (with lots of marriage counseling of course). If we do divorce, he has told me he will kind of decide everything and I do want to try to prevent that of course.
Chocolateeyes, he has stopped emailing in front of me for the past week or so, and started a new avoidance technique with me where he just tries to stay in another part of the house from me at all times now. What part of Theoden's advice do you see me not applying b/c I have been trying to apply all of it??? (I printed it out and read it almost daily!) I have been GAL, calling my best girl friends for support, got a therapist, started Prozac Monday, going to try out for a play audition in 2 weeks (that will be at least 20 hours or so a week). I am teaching sunday school starting tomorrow. I am not following him around anymore. I stopped begging and giving him articles about reconciling. I'm not talking about the relationship, not using reasoning (realized he no longer has reasoning!)
He didn't hit me, but when I was depressed, which was over the past 2 years or so, (I stopped cooking and cleaning as much and stopped calling my friends), he would yell at me and be gone a lot (he has always been gone 70 to 80 hours a week with an addictive type personality) and insists now I was not depressed but lazy then. I think he does that to rationalize his affair. Ironically, since the affair we have actually gotten along better, he is no longer yelling, I am no longer as depressed now that I have gotten therapy and been making the changes in my life and been posting on this board (thank you all!). Hopefully the AD's will help too once they kick in!
I don't think H is a good role model right now and have told the kids that. We are going to get the kids therapy, and I do see this as a temporary situation. It's going to end by October (when my H wants to divorce), one way or the other, and I do hope they see me as the positive role model, and I think they do. My D8 has said her dad is "not nice" even at 8, I think kids can realize when parents are being negative or crazy or whatever. I also would never go back to the place where I was depressed (I didn't even realize that believe it or not) and H was yelling at me. If we do reconcile, we would do marriage counseling and I don't think either of us want to go back there. H started individual therapy for his anger last week, so he knows he has issues too. Karen43
