Reading these posts helps me feel that I am not alone. I became the "agreeable wife" because I didn't want to "create conflict". And I gave up myself in the process. When H and I had our first face to face talk after six months of separation, he told me that he saw no need for conflict in a relationship. But how can you NOT have conflict? I mean, it is impossible to naturally agree on everything. We each have our own opinions. How we choose to express those differences is what is important. Being considerate of the other persons viewpoint and treating them with respect seems to be the critical issue, not the fact that there is a difference of opinion.
And you are right, everything seems to be about them. Our feelings have to take a back seat, and to an extent, that bothers me. Yes, we need to give them space. Yes, we have to consider their feelings, even when they don't bother to consider ours. In my sitch, it has always been about him. Sometimes I wonder if that will ever change. And that scares me.
