I just caught up on your thread; I'm sorry you're here. My 47 year old W had an affair with her 29 year old personal trainer last summer, so I KNOW it hurts. They say infidelity is worse than rape, and I can believe that, because it's been done by someone who supposedly LOVES us.
I'm going to get right to the point, and you may not want to hear it, but here goes: I see you asking for advice, and a lot of "what should I do?"s, but have you APPLIED any of what you've been given so far? Theoden's advice has been SPOT-ON, and I don't see you applying ANY of it.
Did you try and set a boundary with your husband about e-mailing the OW in front of you and the children?
Something else jumped out at me from your thread, when you mentioned his "anger." Your behavior suggests to me that he is abusive. Has he ever hit you? Have you ever feared for your safety with him?
If I'm all wet, just tell me, but I don't understand why you tolerate his boorish behavior. I'll leave you with this thought, which you also won't want to hear, and please know that I'm speaking this to you in "tough love":
Is this the behavior you want to model for your daughter? Is this how you want her to accept treatment from a young man someday? Is the behavior that you're tolerating (at best) or enabling (at worst) from your husband what you want your son to model? He is in his most formative years, RIGHT NOW, for how he will treat, and interact with, the opposite sex.
I'm sorry to be so blunt, Karen. I know this isn't easy.
Chocolateeyes
P.S. Get those anti-depressants. They really help, and they do take several weeks to "kick in." I only needed them for a month or two, and then I was able to stop taking them, but they really helped "even me out," and helped me be there for my kids.
M47 W47 D20, D18, S15, S11 Caught W having an Affair 5/07 Filed for D 7/07 W ended A 8/07 Began attempted reconciliation 8/07 Divorce action pending, on "stay"
