Yes, minkerman - I said the same thing to my H. Almost to the T. I told him if you would have only opened your mouth and sat me down and laid it all out even if you thought it would hurt my feelings I would have tried anything to save my M. He kept all his feelings inside and let it grow in him like a cancer. He never told me becuase I had gained weight he was not attracted (even though he gained weight as well over 20 yrs), never told me once in 6 yrs he did not want me to stay home with our D - never complained about the bills or asked me to return to work sooner. Said I complained about the house too much - wanting to update bathrooms and such and so he put all that together and lost respect and love and attraction for me and felt I did not appreciate him and paid too much attention to my D. His feelings were then magnified when he had an affair with a single working woman who he compared to me and I did not even know I was being compared. I told him if you would have told me how you were feeling I would have returned to work immediately, tried to lose weight sooner and stopped complaining about the house - becuase if I thought I had a choice between living in a house with you with 70's bathrooms and whatever I would have chosen this house. None of that matters when you are faced with losing your family. But he never gave me a choice. It was his feelings and his decision that he made alone for all of us. My H also told me he tried everything and he did work on the marriage - in his own head. I know I never saw it coming and maybe thats why it is so hard for me to move on - I never had a chance to work on my M - never had that chance to see what might have been.
