Is patience the best DB tactic?

[WAS32]

My h and I were seperated for 5 months and are in the process of him moving back in right now. And the biggest thing I did was have patience. LOTS and LOTS of it. You have to try and become numb when they are around. No R talk, no crying and no pushing for answers. The WAS needs to know that you don't need them. It puts to much pressure on them. You can want them but no needing.

Make sure you validate their feelings when they get into any kind of feelings talk, but do not offer solutions. The less you help the more they have to look at themselves. It is a big part of the whole process. Once you stop and back away from the sitch the less they can place blame on you. What I'm trying to say is if you are crying when they are around you are giving them a reason to leave. The fault will be put on you. If you are happy when they are around they need to find there own reason to leave. It makes them look at themselves and makes them start to think about what is going on in there head. It is very easy to put blame on someone else then take a look at yourself. Don't give them that.

Besides, as hard as it is you need to GAL. You need to be happy. Life will get better and it does get easier. Read and re-read the DR. Use what works. I wish you the best. Keep posting and vent here. There is lots of good advice from the people here.