I have been fighting for him and for our marriage all along. I have given him all kinds of encouragement... by e-mail, since that is his preferred method of communication. I get no response. So, I backed off initially, went dark and GAL.
What I have realized recently is that a lot of pent up energy went into the GAL. I had to do something or go nuts. Now that my life has evened out a bit, and the emotional roller coaster is slowing down, I am not actively pursuing new activities. Maybe it is because it is winter and the days are dreary and short. Maybe it is because I am tired of "running". I don't know.
I did have to ask a favor of H. Well, I didn't HAVE to ask him, but I did. And he said he would help. That, in itself, was a surprise, and I mistakenly assumed he might be warming up. WRONG. The day of the favor came, and while he did the favor I asked, he was as cold as ice.
I am truly grateful that he helped me. But I feel so defeated. I want to give up. But my heart keeps telling me, "NO! Give him time, he WILL come around." But my head tells me I am being a fool.
I guess going totally dark is my only alternative for now.
