I'm back to 'terrified' again. There's nobody she knows who wants our marriage to work and it hurts, makes me feel alone.
Ok...let's parse this one out.
What are you terrified of?
Losing her? What exactly is she giving you, other then conditional love? You don't want her as she is. She needs to step up to the plate. Maybe she will, maybe she won't.
Having your kids live in a broken home?
It seems like the kids will stay with you. Better than having them live with her and her "spiritual" friends. Better than having them raised by another man. Trust me Frank, there are many guys on these DB boards who would end their marriages if they could get the kids.
It seems like several things were missing in your lives. For one, you didn't have couples that were friends of the marriage. That is, they were both your friends and committed to knocking sense into either one of you if you strayed. Second, you seem to be missing friends you can see on a regular basis, Frank. You had your wife, your kids and HER friends.
Well...time to start building a community around you.
And...I think, Frank, you might consider AmyC's insights about the undercurrents of your wife's spirituality. I'm not talking about squishy energy fields, I'm talking about malevolent spiritual forces that encourage her to do one thing and one thing only: make herself the the only person she answers to. It seems enlightened, but it's deep and dark magic. When self-actualization and "growth" are disconnected from commitments to others and to Truth, then all things become acceptable. I don't think your wife is communing with God.
