HELP!! my 25 y/o H walked out... maybe mlc? HELP!!

[darkestangel]

H called tonight. He wanted to let me know that his paycheck was very very small, but he'll pay me back next week the rest of the money he owes me. i said, Sure, just make sure it's all there by the end of the month.

H said that he stayed home from work yesterday and today, but because it's the beginning of the year, he gets all of his paid sick days "renewed" at work, so he should be getting a full paycheck next week. I asked him why he was staying home (I know, no questions.,.... my bad) and he said he just felt like it. I'm positive he's home with OW watching tv and hanging out, but I didn't even mention it.

I'm sure because when we first started dating, he would stay home from work and we would just hang out all the time. He's union- so he doesn't worry about getting fired.

H also said he opened up his own separate checking account, he'll do the direct deposit from his work into that account next week.

H asked how my day was, and I told him how I went to lunch with a friend, we went shopping and then I went over another friend's house for a few hours. That other friend happens to live a few blocks away from his moms house. H asked how come I didn't stop by, and I said, I didn't see a reason to.

I was very much "acting as if" and very upbeat.

Although, it was killing me. I feel like he's really moving on. Like he's starting this new life with this OW. It's one thing when he's being an @ss and yelling hateful things at me, but when he's just treating me like any old friend and sounding like my old H again, it hurts even more.

how silly is that? I don't even know if I want him back, given the nature of him leaving and how disrespectful he has been to our family. H hasn't shown any remorse for any of it, he hasn't spoken of having any feelings for me. he doesn't call me Babe or Honey anymore- although i'm sure he calls OW that. I'm GAL, I'm dbing- it just feels so counter productive sometimes. I feel like we're still moving our separate ways, it's just smoother now.

What i want is for him to see the value in our family, and to realize what he's throwing away. For him to show me he loves me again. It feels like that's a dream oh-so-far away. I miss my marriage