You ask a great -- and difficult -- question. My own take on it has long been that the techniques and concepts espoused here, from SSM to Schnarch and some of the others, will ONLY work if BOTH spouses are fully committed to trying to save the relationship. And even then, it's going to take a HELLUVA lotta work, and the improvements may be only gradual, and -- worse -- will probably be short-lived.
If both partners are NOT willing to work at it, then I think these concepts will help one become a better, more confident, and less enmeshed person, but I don't think it will save your marriage, nor will it improve your sex life.
The sex won't be better, but you'll become better able to DEAL with it.
That's just my opinion, based on reading and posting here for a few years myself.
