W has filed for the D,where to from here

[grid, lost]

[quote=fooled again]HHIF,

Maybe I've got this DBing wrong, but my understanding is that we should just DO this, not tell our S what we are doing and why.

Instead of telling him that I am not going to talk about our M, I'm just not talking about it w/ him. See? Instead of telling him I'm not going to call him but I will let him call me, I just don't call him. Instead of telling him that he can do whatever he wants w/ his time, I just don't ask him what he has been doing or is planning to do (well, I'm not doing so well on that one).

FA well done. That is the best I have ever read of someone explaining this DBing as far as GAL to S.

If she really wants a D, you won't have made her want it more by pulling back. But if a part of her isn't sure, and she gets a taste of life w/out you, maybe she won't like that taste, and maybe she will start to doubt that what she is doing is the right thing.

Correct we can not control or stop other people. so if S wants a D we can't in the end stop them, except, maybe for NYS, lol,
I am trying to say, myself will not do anything to Help make a D event happen. So dinner to discuss D contents is not going tobe on my menu. My response to my H would be "write it down on paper and mail it to me. I'll get back to you"

We all have to remember, we are human and not perfect. we fail and then we get up again. I don't have any idea if I am DBing correctly or not. For me I do know something inside me has shifted and changed. My outlook on all of it is starting to change, quite a bit.
grid, lost