At this point in the R with your wife, don't get hung up on LRT and what you shouldn't do in terms of pursuit. The only DB thing to really be sure about is "do what works".
I agree completely, I'm not really doing any DB techniques right now, just being myself and enjoying life. I really feel good about things and where my life is headed, so it is hard with the "pink cloud" in place right now. That will pass though.
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
She is showing interest. She is making an effort to keep you around. And it sounds like she wants more of you than you are giving. You won't know that unless you are willing to show the side of you that is interested in a relationship with her. You can have a good hug. You can hang out with her if she wants (and you want to...don't forget that you also have a say in all that occurs here). You can show you care.
Wow! This is a tough one to respond to. I love her, I think. See, there it is. I'm unsure of anything anymore. Now that I'm leaving wetbrain behind, I'm asking some hard questions and not necessarily getting the answer I want to hear. For instance, drinking and partying with friends is a big part of W's life, and her entire family. Well I don't think I can be with someone that isn't going to be almost completely sober. Maybe a glass of wine with a meal here and there. Then again how could I answer that after a few measily weeks. So I just need to wait. But I'm pretty sure I know what W would choose, and that says it all.
Second, my higher power is a christian based belief. I don't know if I will ever want to extend that to religion and learn to worship or what not, but W is really mad at the Catholic church, and it's not like I'd be we have to be this way or what not, but we are on such a dicotomy on this one, that I don't see us working past that.
So I don't know if those are two big of things for W to give in on to have a happy R with me. So I just keep working on myself and see and observe what happens.
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
If you are ever going to be a couple again, it can't be based on LRT and being aloof. If she's at the point where she wants to know "where are we at", then be frank with her. If you want to see where the relationship goes, you want to go on a date, or you want her to take the lead, then tell her so. If you're uncertain where things are headed, then tell her you need time to figure that out. You are doing good on words of affirmation. If she wants quality time, then it may not be inappropriate to suggest doing something together.
Thanks for the tip, and it is the best way at this point to go about things. Total openness really is what we need. Too many walls right now and to be open is the way to go. I can't say for sure where it is going. I do want to ask her out, but I don't think it is right yet, maybe I'm being a wuss, who knows. But we haven't had a meal together with just the two of us, except this x-mas for over a year or more. We need a night to just be us.
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
I see her making some strides of her own while you are making strides of your own. It's a fine line to walk between letting her know you'd like to give her a chance and making her think that a relationship with you is as easy as snapping her fingers. You'll figure out how to walk that line if you keep your eyes open for what seems to be working.
Ya I'm sure. I'm actually really nervous about a few things and we will see if they ever come about. But I just don't think I could jump in the sack with her right now. Especially, at her place. Just a lot of weird mojo going around and things feel odd. I just have to keep my body in shape and stay clean and sober and I know my mind will find the right answers.
