Yeah. Stay away, Corri. Really. Places like that are a glimpse into the abyss. Attractive, for those of us who like to "know everything", even the dark places. Makes us feel in control. We shine a flashlight into hidden corners and can name, categorize, and file all the demons of the human soul, like Dante's stroll through the Inferno. But that doesn't make them go away, nor does it mean you can control them. Or even recognize them when they show up again, somewhere else, in the shape-shifting way that demons have.
And when you get out again, something always stays with you, not necessarily a demon but something slimy, like a slug, or a jellyfish, that sticks to the mind and you can't shake it. They suck the joy out of the sunlight. Yes, the dark places are there, and it's reality, but walking through them as a constant reminder does no one any good, least of all you. Imo.
Oh, no, I wasn't going on there to stalk him. My xbf calls me and tells me that that place isn't any big deal... I wasn't buying that argument, but, as I had no first hand knowledge of the place myself, I thought... welp. I'll find out. I did it for the same reasons a person would gather evidence before going to trial. It's good to understand what it is you are arguing. What's a lie and what isn't.
I have no intention of staying on there, and yes, it was stunning. My account is now gone, my email washed clean of the filth. It was quite an eye opening exploration of human behavior.
So when the xbf called again, and I told him I had an active account on AFF for a month, just to determine for myself what is and isn't a big deal... told him how many emails I had gotten... my goodness how his tune changed... And now he is not continuing to dish out something at me that I am not willing to swallow. Kinda like when you show your cheating spouse pictures of them in bed with another person... kwis?
I wouldn't recommend to anyone slogging through there, cuz it really did make me sick to my stomach... but. I believe xbf is now crystal clear on where I stand.
So sorry - being sex starved addles the brain. I bow to "the Great one".
Corri,
Ick. Ptooey. I looked at that site once or twice when someone on here mentioned it as an issue in their R. It was nauseating. Most nauseating was the photos of people's nether regions with no face. I mean, was I really supposed to choose a potential R based on their Johnson??
I mean, was I really supposed to choose a potential R based on their Johnson??
LOL. Well... from what I gathered, they are not looking for Rs. They are looking for discrete sexual encounters. Meaning... they want to screw you in a hotel room, send you on your way, and have you promise you won't tell their wife. They don't want anything resembling an R... just sex. But they don't want you to be a 'pro...' which makes them cheap cheaters...
Some are looking for traveling mistresses, no strings attached.
Given what they are looking for, how they go about putting up pix of their nether regions with no face... you immediately understand why they are there in the first place. Duh.
Corri... now I'm starting to get a bit concerned about you... you've been on a short fuse for the past month or so, your cryptic emails are becoming even more cryptic, that long apology email to IC was kind of over the top, and now you're saying you've been getting emails from AFF? None of this is meant as criticism, but Corri, what in the heck is going on with you? Are you drinking too much? Everybody on here cares about you. We want you to be happy, healthy, and stable. If you don't want to post, then at least email some people. I'm getting spooked.
I hung out on AFF for a few days. I e-mail chatted with some of the guys, including one of the nether regions only posters, and pretty much they didn't seem all that different than the average group of guys you might encounter at a bar or on a SSM BB -lol. Which makes sense if you consider that at least a few of the SO's of women posters here have hung out on the site. One guy who was in a SSM pretty much said the exact kinds of sad things most of the guys here say. He actually used the word validation in one of his e-mails. One guy who actually seemed pretty nice/cool had just gotten out of a relationship in which he had been really burned and it was kind of sad because he was just wishing he could find somebody to have sex with but also so that he didn't have to do things like go to the movies alone but he just was way too fried to want to make any sort of emotional connection. The nether regions only guy was actually a kind of cheesey let-me-massage-you-with-scented-oils type. People are people. Of course, it is true that it is highly unlikely that many guys actually get any real non-pro action by posting on that site due to the simple laws of free-market sexual economics.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I also spent some time on AFF back when I was internet dating. I also spent MANY hours in sex chat rooms participating in explicit cybersex. It doesn't interest me now, but at the time, it hit the spot. (And boy oh boy, does it improve your typing speed!!)
However, I never received 200 emails from AFF members (excuse the expression), and I'll bet you didn't either. Also I'm inquiring about the other behaviors corri has been exhibiting recently... it's a "walking on the edge" kind of feeling. I'm wondering what's behind it.
Two of the D women who post on the breast cancer support site did the AFF thing. They wrote posts something like Mojo has recently, wanting some play time after a time of no sex from their H, post SSM as in Dbing SSM and post mastectomy.
One woman said the guys talked overly sexy but said IRL, they were not too different than other men on Match.com, just more up front about sex. I think the women did their screening to what ever their standards are.
I don't know it the guys posted their “nether regions” pictures or if they held a good conversation with the BC women, or just wanted to get down to the action. Some of the BC women had R’s for several months.
With that said, I don't think I would want to be on there or chat with anyone on AFF.
Just passing on information, OK.
My few posts on the BC site was to understand BB and her medical problems a little better. Lou
However, I never received 200 emails from AFF members (excuse the expression), and I'll bet you didn't either.
Yeah, I don't understand why Corri had to stay live for a month to figure out what she figured out. I pretty much decided I wasn't in the right place when I got an e-mail from a gorgeous tri-athelete in his mid-30s who wanted to make me his "sexual princess" and I found that I wasn't interested.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
One thing I learned when I did the sex chat rooms was that the guys there were just ordinary people, some of them extremely nice, some jerks, just like IRL. I had some encounters that were lovely... one guy started by quoting the first line of the Shakespearean sonnet "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day"-- no kidding, and was blown away when I knew the next few lines. I told one guy in the RAF that my late H had been a dustoff pilot in VietNam and he said, "I salute his bravery." The younger guys tended to be rude, fast, and well... illiterate. But the older men were lovely. In fact I met two guys that I talked to on the phone regularly for a few months. Both wanted to meet me, and I was tempted, but didn't. When I met my bf, I emailed both of them and told them that I had met someone and each of them wished me the best, and I haven't heard from them since.
Just like IRL... there are neat people and others you don't want to spend time with.
All of that notwithstanding... I am wondering what's up with corri.
And now he is not continuing to dish out something at me that I am not willing to swallow. Kinda like when you show your cheating spouse pictures of them in bed with another person... kwis?