Britta, hey, I know what you are feeling exactley in regards to not knowing where H is living. After the first bomb (March '07)which was a note he had left me when I returned home from work- my H would not tell me where he was living for over three weeks. I, of course was so shocked (and knew nothing of this board and DBing @ the time)so I begged him to tell me and he would refuse to let me know. I finally found his work truck at a set of apt's in our town on his birthday night, and basically forced him to face me that night. It was terrible, and he told me to my face that what he really wants was not just time and space but rather a Divorce. I was crushed, and desperately seeked help and finally arrived at this wonderful board. The next two months afterward I DB'd my butt off (and even went dark when I found out about the other women-stripper-yuck)and he came running back to me in Mid July. However, my H has just recently dropped the 2nd bomb in mid-Dec (after peicing for 5 months), and this time he actually told me where he is living and that it is a dump. I know what you must be going through right now (all the ?'s and worries that are going through your mind). However, If he wants you to know he will tell you where he is living. If he doesn't want you to know, then he wont- and it would probably make things worse if you pursue the topic. You will probably find out one way or another, all in good time. I just don't want you to make the same mistake that I made, by forceing him to face me when he didn't want to. Have you sensed that he may be hiding something (like an Affair). Cuz if you have that sense, that is probably why he doesn't want you to know, as it could rain on his parade. At least I think that was my H's thoughts last spring, and it only pissed him off worse when I pursued it. TIPPER
