She's gone...I'm devastated, but hopeful

[minkerman]

She emailed me this morning, asking me about a meeting I went to last night (yacht club, not AA!) and if her friends there were asking about her.

We talked on the phone just now, short but sweet. Keeping it light, laughing, no relationship stuff, not even a hint of it.

She is stopping by tomorrow to pick up a few things, it will be so nice to see her. I will still keep it light and casual, though all I want to do is hold her face in my hands and gently kiss her and tell her it'll all be OK.

Her deep-seated stereotype of me is that I have a fear of abandonment. This is actually true, and through reflection I have managed to piece together why I am like this, and can now identify concrete ways to work on it. A person with this fear will constantly contact the spouse in order to “not be abandoned”. My 180 is that I am blowing this stereotype for her. Very little contact; brief flurries of emails or a phonecall, then nothing for a few days. This is showing her (not telling her) one of the major changes I have made.

I am also managing all of the finances. This will really throw her off. She always managed all the money before.

One thing that hurts a bit…she told me all her friends are calling her crazy because she is not protecting herself financially. They are telling her I could lock down everything and starve her out because I am angry. They are saying she is the WAW so she is the one seen as abandoning me. What a load of hooey….they don’t know US. We will work through this with love, not anger.

We'll see where this all goes. I can wait a very long time while she finds herself.