Corri- thank you. For me, at least before, it was never about the "O". I rarely had one and honestly didn't mind. I just enjoyed it for what it was. I loved your sandbox comparison. I think that's exactly how it should be. Now if i could get my H to think that same way. H has some pretty firm preconveiced notions of what sex should/n't and could/n't be. No lights on. Not in the morning. No toys or different position. No talking really. Not sure why, he doesn't really even want to talk about sex in general. We were each other's first, so that probably plays a part in it, but i almost feel like he's not completely comfortable with me. It's hard. Now, my focus is on him 'finishing' and then we can be done. I hate that.

Not sure how i feel about the attraction thing. I think that my attraction for H is so totally connected to how i'm feeling about him emotionally that it's hard to find anything physically to focus on. i have issues...

Miss IC - Thank you for the link. I'm not looking for positions or specific things to try. I'm looking for something more intangable, i think. Maybe just like this, (i'll check it out later). I've got books about just about every aspect of sex there is. I was kept very sheltered from it growing up and once i got interested in sex, i read everything i could get my hands on.

IC - That's awesome. Sometimes i wonder if my H even has that in him. I'm sure it's there somewhere, the ability to push aside all previous ideas and goals of sex and just be in the moment together, i just don't know how to get it out of him.

Cemar - i agree with you. I think there are things he wants to do and try, but he won't share that with me. It's always just, things are fine the way they are. I used to ask him, but it could be amazing. He'd just say, he happy with it now.

Thanks everyone! \:\) i really need to figure out what i want and need and just do that. I'm afraid that i'm closing off the emotional connection part for lots of different little reasons and don't know how to get past that.

If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann