H had an affair, now wants me back,,,

[ntl]

Ntl.

I so admire your courage.
I would think your situation is much worse than mine.
I wish my estranged W had the same endurance as you. Maybe she did but I needed a swift kick between the legs to 'wake me up'.

Thank you. It's easy to be courageous when your heart is compassionate. I sometimes wonder if am substituting foolishness for compassion, but I don't think so. I am a smart, smart girl who is well-adjusted, kind, and supportive. And I have great, great parents who raised me the best way they could and love me always. Knowing that helps.

I wish I could turn the clock back or undo all the past. Some people are stubborn and they won't forgive or/and feel foolish to themselves and friends/family and have no respect for themselves if they came back.
Of course the spouse they have left would have to make huge changes and there would have to be a lot of work.
But my ex doesn#t think I can change and wouldn't take the risk.
But life is a risk. If she met with OM that would be a risk.

Do you think you can change? If so, do it for yourself. If you feel you've got things to learn, ways to be a better person, then make the changes for you. You'll feel so much better about who you are.

I admire you for keeping in there. I hope he sorts himself out.

I hope so, too, smiley. But if he can't, then I'll be happy I tried so hard and happy I had these good times. And, if nothing else, it was a serious enough jolt that I made several significant changes in myself. And I will always be grateful for the lessons I have learned about me.