Starting to get it.... my 3rd thread

[Dom R]

ann25, just a thought. Maybe the reason he treats you badly is because he knows he can and you put up with it.

sheeesh. such pessimism from posters on ann's thread.

She's already pointed out a huge proof that the opposite is true; that he just doesnt realize what he's doing.
When she confronted him about the way he was touching her... he finally understood.
(he actually OVER-reacted, by not touching her at all, when she gave him a somewhat vague impression she didnt like him touching her. So.. he is very responsive to her, if she actually asks him for stuff.)
[edit: weeell... ok, there are SOME areas he has been overboard with. but as i recall, he's backing off]

If she approaches her husband about other things she would like from him... she would probably get it.

"having no expectations" is not the same thing as "not asking for anything". Ann, you can *ask* for stuff. Just dont *expect* to get exactly what you ask for. you might, you might not.
I'd say, though, that the odds are pretty high that you will get it, just so long as you are specific in what you ask for.
you got specific in your "touch" example. and he understood and adjusted his behaviour.

ask him for how you'd like him to treat you. (specifically! )

he'll be happy you asked


PS: the "hysterical bonding" thing, isnt common to have it be painful for the other party. Usually, it's a mutually agreed upon thing, and it is for both people.
It was unfortunate that you were not sexually prepared for it when it happened.
Generally speaking "hysterical bonding", is an unusually high amount of sex right after the discovery. it's like "makeup sex" on crack. Commonly, every day, possibly multiple times, for a week or longer.

You might say that LFL had her own share of hysterical bonding with her newly awakened husband recently. (3 times in a day! phew....) I dont think it was him being "turned on by the thought of her with another guy". Ick. Just the opposite.