ann25, just a thought. Maybe the reason he treats you badly is because he knows he can and you put up with it. He probably feels like he's entitled to it and is taking advantage of the fact that you are "walking on eggshells" with him and trying to convince him that you are here to stay. Basically he feels that if you don't do what he wants, he can just threaten to leave and you'll cave. It certainly puts him in a position of power over you. The only way to put a stop to it is to set the boundaries and let him know that no matter what it's not okay for him to treat you like that and not panic if he makes his threats. You want him in your life, but you don't NEED him, especially not with that kind of behavior.
I think the major reason you aren't attracted to your H is the way he behaves and how he treats you right now. You are building up resentment and it will just get worse. You can't gain attraction back with someone if they don't value you and respect you. I think he probably feels that you are the one that's to blame for everything and you need to fix it. I recall my IC once said, if your S won't admit to any fault and points all her fingers at you then don't have much hope in saving the R. He's just as much at fault in messing up the R as you did. If he isn't willing to change, I think one day you'll just realize that this isn't what you want out of your R and he's not the person you want to be with anymore.... You are a worthwhile no matter what and it's his loss if he can't treat you right and act like he wants you in his life.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
