JennyF, looks like you are doing the same things I was doing couple days ago. Blaming everything on ourselves. It does take two to make the M not work, not just you. You messed up, and so did your H. Don't take all the responsibilities on your shoulders. He isn't without fault no matter what. In some ways we are kind of feeling sorry for ourselves.... It doesn't really help with our PMA as you have found out. It just makes us depressed and miserable. It's good that you and figuring out what you think you want to change. Now instead of beating yourself over it, turn that energy into something positive and improve yourself so it doesn't happen again no matter what happens.
Maybe right now not worry so much about the the R and find yourself again. Figure out what you want out of life besides the neediness of your H being there. I've found that the more I press to keep us together and wanting to save the M, the more pressure my W felt and things seems to get worse. If you just back off from that a little bit and tend to yourself, maybe things will improve on their own. It's worth a try since what you've been doing hasn't been working right?
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
