Just got off the phone with D17 in Utah. After some conversation, she asked what my plans were when I came home. I stated that I didn’t know. She stated: “You know what mom’s plans are, right?” I said “Yes. To get a divorce” She responded “Right”. I said that that made me sad, but I have no choice except to accept it. She said “None of us want that, dad, except mom, and you know how stubborn she is, but you have to try and be happy, no matter what". She seemed to buy my “upbeat spirit”, but inside, every time I hear that, my brain goes blank, even though it’s been almost two years since she dropped the bomb. D17 also mentioned that D15 still seems to have a fairly serious bulimia issue, as W. talks about it with her. Ugh! All this and she wants to pile on with a divorce.
I only feel slightly nauseous these days when I hear it. Even though I know it's inevitable, it's STILL tough to accept. I CANNOT GO IN THE TANK LIKE I DID LAST TIME! As my long-time readers may remember, I tried to check out permanently in 2006 after the original bomb, using my prescription meds. I was a totally broken spirit. I was really hopeless. I think I have gotten to my wobbly feet, but it is still diffficult! Advice......?
