Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[fooled again]

Hi Mike,

I took the day off today & was just on your thread w/ grid & HHIF (I'm afraid I wrote another novel).

Pizza! That's good, but I'm the dough girl. LOL. Last night he came over for my BDay dinner, but he was distant & distracted. It was very unnerving & I found it very difficult not to let that affect me. He also seemed lukewarm about tonight - I told him it was okay if he had other plans but to let me know now if he was going to cancel. He said he was not going to cancel but didn't know what we would do. I said it didn't matter but at least we would get to spend some time alone together, if that's what he wanted too. He didn't say anything.

I just don't know what to make of his distraction. And yes, I know it does me no good to speculate, but it's really hard not to, knowing that I missed so many messages he was sending me before his A. Now I am over sensitive to him and it's difficult to turn off. He seemed negative about everything. Is it all b/c of his not having a job and money (so no $$ to buy BDay present or take me out) - I know that could very well be it. It could have to do w/ my parents being around. Or maybe there is something to do w/ OW. Or maybe, and this is a shot in the dark, b/c I have not been talking about our M, he is wondering if I don't want him anymore. I had given him DB to read and he hasn't returned it. If he has read it and is using DB techniques, he would be not talking about M either. So how does that work, if neither of us want the other to know that we are DBing? It's something I've considered before.

I was thinking that maybe tonight I should try to talk about M a little bit and see how he reacts. If I sense that it's not a good thing, I can always back off and change the subject. But I wonder what would be a good way to lead into a small R talk. I actually have no idea where to start, what I should say or not say. I mean, I don't want to mention OW at all, nothing. I also don't want to make him feel worse about him not working or $$, so that's another one I won't bring up. Or maybe I should just not say anything at all and just have fun. God this is hard. I'm dying to talk about R w/ him. I'm dying to ask him what's on his mind, but any hints I drop, he doesn't respond to, so I drop it. Ugh.

No, D & I don't go to his hockey games - they are usually at night. I used to go to almost all of his games b/f we had D. Last time I wanted to go, he told me that he thinks I'm bad luck b/c he got hurt 2x when I was watching. That hurt, but now I think it's b/c he was in his A and didn't want me around his friends who may have met OW.

D loves the dog, and definitely obedience training is a must. We had some barking issues, but that's settled down. Now she's digging in my garden and still doesn't come when called. I will be bringing D to obedience training so she can learn what she needs to know to control the dog, though of course I know that it will be up to me.

Glad to hear that you're busy at work. Thanks for stopping by.

FA