Ongoing affair, D papers filed, advice wanted

[SirPrizeMe]

Running, thank you. It helps me so much to talk things out here. Thanks for hanging with me, "being" with me.

About pulling away after getting closer - wowee. For any of the lurkers out there reading this post - take it to heart. My wife really did pull back. Strongly. She was so happy and peaceful at Christmas, watching the gifts and all. We had a nice evening the night before, shared a bottle of wine, talked quietly, ALONE in the house just us two. And then, 2 weeks later she is sending me angry emails about how I am stalking her. So yes, the pullback effect happens. Prepare for it.

But moving on...
Wow! for real? Wish them the best?!?!? Seriously?

I did mention him - a couple weeks ago. My daughter was wearing a winter coat I did not recognize. I inquired where it came from. W said the first name of OM's daughter. "Who?" said I... Then W said the first name and last name. "Oh."

I mentioned that I knew she was still seeing him, and then I remarked "if you spent half the effort on this marriage as you did on your relationship with OM, we wouldn't be in this situation."

Sound like good DBing to you?

heh heh.

I know, I know. "Do what works. Stick to your goals." etc etc. But sheesh, it makes no sense. She'll fly across the country for him, but she won't go Halloween trick-or-treating with me.

I know you are right though, about not worrying about OM and her. Actually you are more than right. You are exactly

But seriously, wish them the best?

She assured me at the time I made that remark that "OM and I are just friends." So if I believe her then wishing her "the best" with OM wouldn't really make sense now would it?

I guess I could still stick with "he's a great guy" and "I'm glad he's finding his happiness" or something like that. (from what friends tell me, he doesn't see his own kids now, still drinking, lamenting his pariah status, etc).