well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[cat03]

He doesn't even know how to meet his own needs in a healthy way, so how can he meet yours? He can't.

No, he can't and I'm pushing him to do so. *sigh*... I need to go back and be healthy and happy without expecting him to fill my love tank until he fights his demons, I know his self confidence is below the radar--jeez, I should know better by now, this is a longer road than I though.

It's not about you, it doesn't reflect on you, your value, your desirablity, your lovableness, or anything else.

I think that is my problem, there are times when I take his isolating himself personally, I need to get him off the hook on that one

speak your mind, share your feelings, but matter of factly, while you remain detached.

I did speak my mind that day, but I was too emotional and I prob pushed him away, I have to learn to speak without making him feel under the gun.

he's shown you, what you can expect of him right now. Don't expect any more than that - don't even expect that much

I must, must remember that, specially since I'm truly the only one who knows the whole pict, not his mom (the other person he confides, being the only other member of his family around/alive) nor the C , he does tell me often how lost the feels.

It's MY issue to deal with

yes, it is my hard head that needs to learn to let go

"I'll deal with it later." Later never comes

Yes, that's my H, avoiding conflict or talking as if nothing happened in hopes it will get swept under the rug. He does admit he needs to unlearn a lot of stuff.

I also have no earthly idea how much he thinks of me, so it is unfair to think the worst, most likely he's beating on himself most of the time.

I usually am the one who plans any outings since I'm the one who handles all the money, we did plan to go to watch a movie, so at least we have something nice to do just us.

Thanks for the reality check guys, I needed it