Have you ever laid yourself, nekkid... along side of Cac... and... not caring one wit for what he thought... allowed yourself to feel safe, sexually secure and daring, very cat-like relaxed.... and just concentrated your thoughts upon... his... oh, I don't know... arm? His jaw line? The hair above his navel?
No. What I mean is, I have felt safe and sexually secure with him. Daring maybe not so much. I'm not a particularly daring person in general. But if I felt that way I wouldn't be thinking about his arm. Well maybe the hand at the end of his arm touching me. Or some other body part that would make me feel good.
Have YOU ever taken the time, to explore, at your leisure... what YOU like to do, or not... with him... or not with him? Maybe yourself...???? Because you were feeling erotic and he was laying there, maybe watching?
I think I have a good understanding of what I like sexually, and I think cac does too. If you're asking whether I've ever MBed in front of him to explore what I like...the answer is...no. Don't really care to, either. One change in me has been my willingness to do things that he has suggested or that I know he likes. I was so O-focused in the past that I only wanted to do it with him on top because I got the best O that way. That was the "lame sex" he referred to in the past.
One thing about me that's different from many of the LD wives of the guys here is that I was LD pretty much from the beginning. We did not have a hot sex life in the beginning. We had no courtship really. cac has mentioned our lackluster beginning. It was pretty nondescript. What I'm feeling now is closer to what others feel at the beginning of an R, as much as that is possible with someone you've been with for more than 20 years. I am feeling more monkey than I have felt in the past. Actually, I have felt monkey in the past but it came and went. This time the monkey hasn't disappeared. And I'm enjoying her and our M. I'm having fun. Not that we're doing it swinging from the chandeliers, but it's fun.
At this point I have no compelling urge to try the Peace....uh....stuff. Doesn't really appeal to me right now. Maybe it will down the road. I understood what IC wrote on Ann's thread, and there have been times in the past that I would have been into that (with cac, not you, IC, LOL) but right now, not really.
