Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[newnamenewlife]

Last night I slept on the couch for the first time. We went to MC on Wed and I lost all DB cool--sobbed, tried to point things out about what he will lose--total backslide.

However, even though H still insists he doesn't lov me the right way and he can't work on our M, he did vow to try to be more present and less ghostlike w/me at home (I told him I felt like a widow.)

I didn't say anything, but it felt like was a tiny piece of progress. Yesterday we were relaxed and laughing and had a great evening with the kids. But then I felt like I had to pull back because everytime we seem like "us" again, I do get all hopeful and forget all the weird things he has said. So I thought about what I could do as a 180 and decided I would not come up to bed, but would sleep on the couch. I didn't announce it, I just did it. When he came to say he was going up to bed, I kind of mumbled as if i'd be coming up soon, but I stayed on the couch until 5am. When I returned to bed, he didn't say anything. He came down to bkfst and smiled and kissed me good morning.

I am so lost myself. I slept on the sofa for two reasons: 1) to get his attention 2) because I have come to hate being in the same bed with him. He will hold me for a few minutes, but otherwise he turns his back to me and it hurts.

So, do I keep up the sofa sleeping? It seems like the road to separation, which is NOT what I want--but I figure if it is inevitable, I should get used to sleeping alone. I also think he needs to experience the realities of separation before he can even begin to see what he is doing. Moving out is not an option for either of us right now for money and kid reasons.

Advice, please!!