(((Cat))) You are doing everything you possibly can honey... with grace and compassion.
I hear you. You don't want him to feel forced to contact you, you want him to WANT to. I'd bet he's thinking about you constantly. It still confuses me when my H will mention a particular situation during the past year when he thought about me every minute. Why didn't he contact me? He has no answers, other than he would think "I'll call today. In a little while after I've done x, y, z. Okay, after I deal with a, b, and c. Maybe after I have a nap." Then "By now she's hurt that I haven't called." "I'll deal with it later." Later never comes.
I'm not excusing them. His behavior just sounds like he's still overwhelmed. And you're still hurt. And tired of being the strong one all the time. I'm so sorry this is so unfair right now and he isn't protecting your sweet heart. I hope your C can help him learn how to get better at that soon.
Meanwhile, maybe he can make up for the missed lunch by taking you out someplace really nice for lunch this weekend?
