Don't do anything to sabotage the M yet. Just wait through Sunday, at the least. Go to church with your friend. He sounds like he may have a good grasp of things.
Speaking of friends - as DR book reminds you, keep your friends motives in mind when you seek them for comfort. They care about you and want to see the pain go away. They see the shortcut as the easy answer ... "leave", "she's not worth it", "you can do better", "you deserve better'. They want to ease your pain because they are uncomfortable watching your sitch develope. But remember, all of these people will go home at the end of the night to their own families - if you leave, you will go home to an empty house. Friends mean well - but are not the best advice givers. Read through the success stories on the BB and see how similar your sitch is to others and how others have managed their situations.
John, this is a battle - a bigger battle then you even can conceive of. Many of us believe it is a battle for your soul and for your wife's soul in a spiritual realm. More on that later as your sitch developes. But it is the hardest thing you (and your W) will ever live through.
Still, make NO DECISIONS. You are too hurt and still need perspective. Lets wait out the weekend (you will learn alot about patience during this trial), see how you are feeling on Monday, and then lets get a plan together ... based on whatever direction you choose.
Take your mind off the circumstances (step daughter issue, the denial about Paris, the OM - who truly has less to do with this then you think, how this all played out, etc.) You need to step back and look at the M and R as a whole and not the result of the last week or the last few months. Many of us took your position at the beginning (if there's an OM - I'm out). I did. But with time comes wisdom and perspective. I took my wedding band off - for about 45 minutes. It's been on since. I was blessed. Wisdom came quickly to me.
You have to do what I've been telling you to do for weeks ... pick a direction. In or out? You are in control here. This is now your decision. What is best for John210? What is best for D7? What is best for W? I think the answer is the same.
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
