So I ask the philosophical question: Are the successes because of what we learn here and the failures in spite of it or is it all just a random crap shoot and our time here could be better spent painting the house or on some other tangible if mundane triumph?
Depends. Tangible triumphs are helpful, but they seem more an effect than a cause of getting a better mindset (or perhaps better medications). I tried the "tangible triumphs" route and got nowhere. What I needed was "tangible progress" every single day, day after day, for the rest of my life, and throwing myself into a quest for a "tangible triumph" got me nothing but half-finished projects and further disgust with myself.
Originally Posted By: Baltoman
Lil, I get what you are saying and personal growth is all well and good but sometimes it seems like this board is better at preparing us for our next relationship than at trying to salvage the current one. A good thing if it comes to that but not really the primary reason we all started dropping by.
It's a lot better than watching your next relationship go straight to hell, and maybe the one after that.
If you learn a better way in the middle of your Project From Hell, it still might not succeed, but if you don't learn a better way in the middle of your Project From Hell, it almost certainly won't succeed and it'll be followed by an endless succession of Projects From Hell until you do learn better.
You no longer have the option of doing this one right from the beginning. And maybe it's too late, and maybe you never should have started that project in the first place. But there are always ways to make things better.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
