I will add... sign up for the newsletter. I'm not so sure it isn't a bunch of earthy people walking around, talking about 'feel the love' with no O... but... there are some great articles that come along.
I suppose, what I found for myself... was that sex was not "Orgasm is the mission of this project.' Huh? It isn't? Then what is sex about? I thought is was all about hot bodies, and biting and chewing and licking and sweat and getting to that O...
Nope. Not that biting and chewing and licking and sweating isn't, or can't BE a part of it... sex is a method of personal expression. In physical form. What do I see in my partner... that **I** might like to touch, smell, taste, feel... for my OWN pleasure... when my bf used to watch me take my pleasure from him... it dam near sent him over the edge... and I learned... in my own way... that when I watched him take his pleasure from me... and I LET him... wow.
However you get to THAT... IT... whatever 'IT' is... if you can get your mind wrapped around that... and let IT happen... oy... hand me a fan....
Tiredness falls away. Stresses of the day fall away. Kids. Dogs. Cats... bills... it's just me and him. Right here, right now. That doesn't mean everything works like clockwork... it just means... I'M HERE... HE'S HERE... we laugh, we giggle, we feel stupid... ooops... did that hurt... sorry... move on... I'm like a little kid in a sandbox saying... 'hey... how 'bout we build... this?' And my very willing friend says... 'okay...' so I start to build... him: 'hey... put a draw bridge there... here? okay... me: 'so... while I working on this draw bridge, can I look at the mason master while I work?' Him... 'sure...' Me: 'Can I tell him a story while I work?' Him:... 'hey sure whatever floats your boats... just... yep... draw bridge...'
And then I work at my own pace... and he's willing to let me work at my own pace, because he sees that I am enjoying my work, at my own pace... and his enjoyment comes not only from work done well... or work in progress... but that I am taking initiative and adding to the 'brain storming' of building the castle... and if the castle doesn't get built in this day... it really isn't of paramount concern... we hare having fun... pretending and building... and stopping and starting over again... and giggling and laughing...
And all of the sudden, the mission of building The Castle... isn't THE Mission... it is in the building... the castle coming to fruition... is lovely... but the building of it... talking about it, feeling your way through it... standing back, admiring the work... fixing that... trying this... nope... that color doesn't work for me... let's try this... oh yeah...
Then it all becomes about... putting together something on the fly... something that works for both people... because we don't have a mission of finishing The Castle. We are just being together, playing in the sandbox.
And each time I come to the sandbox... I think of something ELSE to build.
THAT is what gets me out of my LDness. I sometimes screw it up... sometimes I don't hit one out of the park, like LFL says... but... I show up in the sandbox... and I play.
But.
I have to know that whomever I show up in the sandbox WITH... they understand that today we may not hit one out of the park, and if we don't... it's okay. Some days I'm better at making up stories and blueprints, and whatnot, than others... kwis?
Sometimes, I start down a road and realize... ooops... I can't go down this road yet... uhm... is there a side street?
My man with the map, who will not stop and ask for directions... is usually okay with guessing his way out... if I let him, and he doesn't mind me letting him...
Ann. My mother always says to me: "Corri, the world is only boring to boring people." If your sex life is boring....
k?
Attraction... is... I'm sorry... created. In MY mind. I can smell the pheremones, just like anyone else. But just because I could fck you... doesn't mean I can't... create it, when it is called for. The person with whom you are married, at one time, stopped you short. You can find that again. You just have to look for it. In the crook of their arm... the swell of their bossom... the small of their back... the chisel in the jaw... their eyes... their smell... find it.
