Brita, hey, I am very much in the same boat as you. My H and I are seperated, and He just moved out on Dec. 18th '07. This was his second bomb after we tried piecing for 5 months. Once he moved out again, I have not heard or seen H much at all since the week after he left (we did two dinner nights cuz he wanted to talk-probably guilt). I do not contact him. And when he calls/texts me, I often wait hours or days to respond to him. This time is MINE now, You have to focus on YOU, and not worry about his dwindeling contacts. They are not able to be around us very much while in MLC. And when they are - I think it is painful to them. The less contact the better is what I believe. I know each situation is unique to each individual, so you can make the choice whether to contact or not, better than anyone else here could for you. Follow your Head, not your Heart!!! I find this time around, It is much easier for me not to contact H, but the first time - I couldn't bear to not want to call or be with him. I have learned a lot from being here on this board for almost a year. I do believe that part of the reason that H came back to me the first time, was mostly in part to finally DBing like a crazy woman and I went DIM. He came running back after about a month and a half of practicing the skills we learn here. However, just because the techniques worked and he came back to me, he is now gone again. So the point is that, even though I changed - He still has not. His MLC will have to finish completely before we can ever truely try to reconnect again. With that being said, They need time alone and to miss what they once had, and this will take a very long time with many ups and downs. So be prepared for him to just drop off the face of the earth, and do not worry cuz that is what they need most right now. I hope this will help you, if you would like, you can look at my thread(I only have one so far) for more details. TIPPER
