Loosing my mind

[SirPrizeMe]

You have some idea of your rights, and speaking to your attorney will bring more clarity - it is the right thing for you. Protect yourself, of course.

But be careful. Be thoughtful. Attorneys sometimes drop into the groove of "making a divorce". They "do divorces" you see, so when you come to them, they begin to do what they know how to do. If that is not what you want you should be very clear on that point with your attorney. Take some time before visiting the attorney to think about what it is that you want, and what you need. Maybe you want some additional financial control. Maybe you want to inject some reality into the situation. all these are good. If it is true that you do not want a divorce, then do not let your attorney automatically guide you toward actions that lead down that path. Again, I am not saying, roll over and get walked on. Just be careful.

As for why she hasn't filed when she's had an attorney for a week and a half, it could be because she does not want a divorce, or it could be she is getting her ducks in a row. Maybe she is visiting all the financial institutions and getting statements, taking financial inventory. This is what my W did during what I thought was a "quiet time". She had actually promised to me that she would not take steps toward divorce, but all during that time she was taking inventory, looking at financial assets, what she would split, and so on. I am not saying that this is what your wife is doing. I am saying that it is dangerous to draw conclusions when you don't have all the facts. It is certainly plausible that she does not push forward because it would be a loss to her - to formalize the financial support might mean a drop in lifestyle for her. Certainly plausible. Is it the real reason? Not clear. Maybe you have better insight.

I cannot tell you what to do, but here is an idea, something to think about. Spend some money and talk to the professional DB counselors on this site. I am not affiliated with this site but the pros on the phone have a calming influence on me. They have seen it all and may be able to help you. If you can afford it, it may be worth the expense.

Next thing - if you believe she is liable to file for divorce, what steps can you take now to protect yourself? Can you move funds out of her name, out of joint accounts, to protect your interests? Can you close joint credit accounts or at least take your name off the accounts? Maybe discuss with your attorney about the implications of this kind of step.

You said that she knows you will not do anything. Maybe this kind of thing, these concrete steps, would represent a 180 for you, then. Not a "last resort" technique, just a sign that you are willing to face reality and start taking steps to separate. It doesn't have to be a rapid withdrawal, just a few signs maybe to knock her loose.

it may be that you can do these thigns quietly. If it is necessary to explain these actions to her, then could you just reply, regretfully, "yes, this stinks, but I know it is what you want. I can see this is the path we are on, so I think it will be easier this way."

I don't mean to rush you....
Some options to think about, is all.

Think first, then think again, before taking any big actions. Don't act from anger. you will be happier later.