LD book recommendation?

[ann25]

Hi all.

Miss IC - thank you so much. I felt very much the same way. That even though we weren't having sex as often as i'd like, we were both satisfied with it. That things were good. He bought a home, had a beautiful baby girl and things were good. Our problems started out during our second pregnancy. My SD didn't go anywhere, but H was suddenly insecure about our R (still not sure why). Accusing me of cheating and lying. He was always angry and upset and spent a lot of nights sleeping in his office. That lasted about a year before I was finally able to make it clear to him how i was feeling. He asked for a D. now i just feel like we are in this place where we've both changed and I want to talk to much about it and he doesn't want to talk about it at all. I'm very grateful that he decided he didn't want the D, but I really wish we'd never gotten there at all. I think you are right. I really need to figure out what I'm looking for and get it.

H and I went out for my Birthday a couple years ago and i don't remember much after we went bowling (alcohol amnesia ) He said that was one of the best nights because he said maybe that's what i really want and am just afraid to ask for. He said he couldn't even describe it, but it was a lot of fun. He seriously tried getting me drunk a couple times after that (i'm not a drinker). Maybe he was right and I just don't know what I want... thank you sooo much!


Corri -

How 'safe' do you feel with your H?

I feel safe with him. Are you talking about like i can share whatever with him? I feel like i can tell him things. I was raised in a home where sex isn't even in the dictionary. No tv, no movies past pg13, no dating til i was 16, no makeup... etc. I seriously thought my parents never had sex. They may or may not have, i have no idea. So talking about sex in general for me was something i had to get used to. Now I'm used to it. We were both each others firsts at 19 after 3 years of dating. It took us a while, but I think we figured it out ok.

When he tries to kiss and grab you, do you stop him, slow him down... take control of the sitch and lead him through what you want?

I used to go back and forth with the control thing. Sometimes i would just let him do whatever and other times I would show/tell him exactly what i wanted. now i guess it depends on a bunch of stuff. Mostly when he's trying to kiss me or something, it feels like he's saying "MINE" and claiming his territory. I hate feeling like property, so I'll tell him later or something. sometimes, when he's nicer about it, i go along with him. I just feel like i don't really want to be with him like that, but at least if he's going to be affectionate, i'll do my very best to make him happy.

Do you ever feel erotic?

not so much anymore.

Do you ever feel relaxed and at ease with sex, or do you always feel you have a mission to accomplish?

i feel relaxed sometimes, but most times i feel like i just want to get it over with. It was never like that before.

I guess i just feel like i'm not attracted to H. I don't know what to about that. He's not my "type", never has been. We were friends and as i fell in love with him i started seeing him differently. It's not that he's not a good looking guy, just not what I'm typically physically attracted to. The more and more distant he/we got, the less attracted i was. I have a hard time really enjoying sex without that attraction. Sex isn't something I've ever just gone out and done, it's always been about love, when it's not, it's really hard. It feels ok, i just don't enjoy the whole experience.