I had a talk with my lawyer yesterday and then talked in the evening with W about our divorce details. She started asking about what would be different if she were to move into an apartment instead of with OM. I said I would be willing to pay spousal support in that case as I want my kids to have a good place to live when they are with her. I then asked her why she asked that question and I could not get an answer from her. I suspect she has some huge doubts about her life with OM. I told her that we can sign an agreement between ourselves so that we can start sharing the kids right away according to our parenting plan. This would be something that would change the status quo specified in the restraining order.
The biggest thing I got out of our conversation was that she admitted that I had been in misery for over 2 months about her being a WAW and that now the shoe is on the other foot. She told me to party it up in celebration because she is now eating multiple excrement sandwiches. I told her that I have no happiness in hearing that she is miserable now. Her face throughout our talk looked so sad and with no direction. As I was explaining division of assets and child support, she was writing things down (in Thai) and expressed that her mind is just blank. She also finally said that she may get personal counseling in the future. This is something I have recommended several times for her.
I explained that both her and I have had our outbursts and that we both need to disregard a lot of what is said in anger. We both need to get along as friends as we have to deal with each other for many more years. I told her of the WAW rule of believe 0% of what they say and 50% of their actions and now she seems to be applying that to me. I tried to show her that I am fair and sincere in what I am proposing for our divorce settlement.
I asked if she could turn back time to when she started hitting the bars whether she would do anything different. She said that she would have felt that she was leaving a good husband at home to take care of the kids and would have forced herself to come home and not be a bar flirt.
She finally said that she will be seeing a lawyer today. I told her that she should sign receipt of the divorce papers by tomorrow otherwise she will get served at her place of employment next week. She has had 10 days to sign receipt and I dont know why she is waiting for the last minute. I told her that signing does not mean she agrees with the content (which is written in my favor). She feels that all the cards are in my hand as the wording indicates that she left the home of her children. Also, the protective restraining order she feels makes it look like she is bad too. She says she feels like she is now on the defense. I tried to show her that I want to work with her in a friendly manner. The papers filed by the lawyer is just a standard way they do things to begin with. I expressed that it is in our best interests if we can agree to an uncontested D.
At the end of our talk, I threw out the question of whether she would ever consider saving our M. Just something for her to think about, but I still want to move on and get the D. She would have to show me a whole new person for me to want her back as my W. For now, the D is a legal matter I want to get done with. Where our R goes after that, only time will tell.
