Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[fooled again]

BeingMe,

Thank you. Today I am feeling good about myself. I dressed in an outfit that makes me look and feel great, I slept pretty well and I will be going to the gym today. I have decided to make today great for myself!

Last night my H called me around 11:45 to say goodnight after his game. He told me how great I looked and that I don't at all look 43. He also talked about how great I'm doing w/ my life and my goals. We talked till just after midnight, so he wished me Happy Birthday and said ILY. It was great to hear that before going to sleep.

My natural tendency can be to be pessimistic, so the thought popped in my head that maybe he said those things last nite b/c he's ready to move on and he sees that I'm doing okay so he won't feel guilty about leaving me. Isn't that crazy? I mean, this is what we all long to hear, and here I am looking at things like that in the worst possible way. Could explain alot about what things were missing in my M and how I interpreted alot of the things he said to me as criticisms, when that was not his intention at all. So another 180 for me is to try not to tease apart everything H says to me to look for the negatives, accept H's compliments at face value and try to be more self-confident.

Last w/end I asked my H if we could have an evening alone together this w/e, and my parents could babysit for free. He's out of work & has no $$ so I suggested he cook me a BDay dinner at his place, or something simple & cheap like that. He said he'd think of something. I'm really curious about what he'll come up0 w/ and a little apprehensive b/c I haven't been to his place in months. OW spent quite a bit of time there w/ him and some of her stuff was still there the last time I was there. But I'm going try to push those thoughts out of my mind and try my best to relax and enjoy tomorrow evening w/ H.

I REALLY like your idea of the list of priorities - I am a list-maker, but I have been having trouble with lists that have to do with my M and DBing. The list you made is actually very applicable to my sitch, and though I may be doing some of these things, it's the re-evaluation and follow-up I have difficulty with. Maybe a list will help me stay focussed on my progress. Thank you for the suggestion.

Take care.
FA