H and I own business together, still talking

[grid, lost]

Found out that mt mom had a heart attack Thursday night, my brother called me 9PM Friday to let me know. While talking to him my aunt called me(moms sister). We are really close, she's more like an older sister to me.

Oh Mike, I am so sorry to see you posting your Mom is ill. Please when you have a chance post and let me know how your Mom is doing. Will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

I told her his name and she confirmed it was a co-worker. W told her that I wouldn't fight for her. My aunt said she didn't want to see that side of me,

HMMMM.... So W is having at least EA. OUCH that hurts. Maybe with W's self impossed isolation she just finds OM a lift for her low self esteem. Remember the problems are not about OM. AS you told me over and over, get OW out of your head. Your turn. lol I am just teasing you, at least now you know some of the facts.

She told me that she has a few friends and customers(she owns a beauty salon) that think I'm hot. I go there for haircuts.

Some how I am not surprised by this statement!!

OM is a co-worker, don't know if she is chasing him. I think the times she wanted to quit her job they had a falling out. Don't know if W thinks if she is D'd that he will leave his W for her or if he promised to leave his W if she D'd me. Oh well it is what it is.

How can your W be chasing him if all she does is sleep when not at work????? Sounds more like an EA than anything else. This idea of, you D your S and I'll D mine never works out. One or the other always ends up not going through with the D. Then the other has lost all!!! Hope your W is together enough to realize that!

[micoms]

Grid, Thanks, mom is doing ok. She put on about 40lbs of water weight, put pressure on the heart. They got her on morphine for the pain she's having. Doctor didn't stop in while I was there to ask any questions. W just called to see how mom was doing, I was sleeping forgot DB to let go to voice mail. She was concerned about mom, she sounded bad, sounds like she has a cold. She said her throat hurts and she's coughing. Even though she sounded bad I told her it was good to talk to her. Told her to call me when she's feeling better.

I don't think W is seeing OM now, D24's BF says she is always at the house , even on her days off. I don't know if he told her he won't have anything to do with her until she D's me or not. I know he was married but don't know if thats still true or if he's S. I already knew she had an A with this co-worker so it's not a surprise although she denies it to me.

W told me a couple of things that bothered her the last time we talked and that they keep pushing her away. So maybe she will open up a little more. Hopefully she really consider trip for Retrouvaille.

I know guys who are M'd make those kinds of promises to the women they are having A's with. You leave your H and I'll leave my W. Then there's always a reason not to leave their W. Hopefully she'll wake up and smell the coffee.

Got to go I need to call my brother who lives about a hour and a half north of Seattle. Got to rib him about his team losing. and to see if he knows about mom.

Mike

[micoms]

Grid,

You still out there? Mom is doing better, they've taken about 18lbs of water out of her. Doc said her lungs are almost clear. She's being weaned off of morphine. She's even asking her nurses if they are single. Had a group of hospital employees in and out of her room visiting me today. I used to service the elevators at that hospital for 12 years. Maintenance, transporters, housekeepers and one doctor looked in on me.

Family is starting to advise me to just get rid of W that I deserve someone better. That I'm still young and good looking enough to find someone new. They don't understand that's not what I want. I want to honor my vows I made to my W to love and honor her in good times and in bad. These are the bad, I think we can get through them if she opens up a little. The last time I talked with her she told me of a few things that I did that pushed her away. If she opens up again and tells me more I'll do a better job of keeping my mouth shut and listening.

Mike

[micoms]

Grid, back to work tomorrow, yippe. I'll be a tax paying member of society again! Looks like they'll have me doing warranty work, putting new software in existing elevators and reprogramming them. Super said there are a lot to get done. Bought a vehicle today, a 01 Windstar. It was a bank repo so, blue booked for 6200, paid 2500 for it.

Going to see the guys I bowled with tonight, get out a little bit, maybe a beer or two. I'll probably stop and see mom before.

Any news on your side?

Mike

[grid, lost]

[quote=micoms]

Grid, back to work tomorrow, yippe. I'll be a tax paying member of society again! Looks like they'll have me doing warranty work, putting new software in existing elevators and reprogramming them. Super said there are a lot to get done. Bought a vehicle today, a 01 Windstar. It was a bank repo so, blue booked for 6200, paid 2500 for it.

Today is the 16th, how are you feeling as a tax paying member of society again??? Now your going to feel even much better ! I am sure everyone at work was so happy to see your mugg around again!
How in the world did you come by the Windstar for that price??? GEEE I could use such luck !!!! Do tell your secret for such good luck. 1/3 of book value.

I'll probably stop and see mom before.

Any news on your side?
Nice to see your Mom is recovering from her heart attack. Lucky lady. Many woman have silent heart attacks and they don't even know what is going on. Moms are so special. Happy to hear all of your good news. You certainly can use a bit of good news.
Yea, I am sure the family is really pushing for you to let go. Stand Mike, in the end you'll be happier for it, I'm sure. As Michele tells us, the family means well because they hate to see you being hurt. But the family doesn't have to live the D choice.

Have not had much contact with H. I've been in a real down mood so that is reason I didn't post back.
Email came through for Retro. only couple miles from here. The sponsor couple was busy for this coming weekend with a Retro. planned and I took it was with a new group, YOu know folks in our boat. So I am going to call and ask a couple questions next week after their weekend. Now to come up with the Qs.
Have any might like me to ask?
A very dear friend of H and mine passed away and I am so sad. He was an outstanding artist, even had one hanging in White House, etc etc!! Cancer,...Bill and I would talk about health problems and I helped him get his pain meds straightened out with his Dr. We talked about the horrible side effects of many drugs.
His spirit was to never give up and take everything you could from life. I am going to miss him a lot.
Bill painted a series of American Indians of NYS finger Lakes area, which he refused to sell regardless of offers. One painting, a young brave I fell in love with. As an engagement gift H begged and talked Bill into selling the painting to him, for me. Understanding was the painting was for me and only me. Then H talks owner of my favorite NYS Winery to display the painting and H suggests we drive up to this winery one evening and enjoy champagne in their tasting room. Of course, my response is YEA lets go. I love cold champagne.
There is the painting!!!!! I'm so thick headed don't even realize what is going on. I keep saying over and over to H, that is the painting I keep telling you about that I love. After a couple minutes H turns to me and said, "I know and it is yours now. Thank you for marring me. We can enjoy it together for rest of our lives."

As we are leaving the winery tells us they must have had at least a dozen people beg to purchase the painting, in one or two days !!!!! Later 2006 I commission a painting for H.
NOPE, no, D for me and I am going to fight to keep standing.
Mike, I don't know why I posted all of that thanks for reading it though.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

Work was OK, they are giving me light duty. The guys are asking me if I want to take their OT calls. I'm taking sunday it's double time. The windstar was a bank repo, they were going to wholesale it Fri, they wouldn't have gotten 2k for it from them. I saw several customers that didn't know about surgery. I showed up and they said we finally will get elev fixed, look who's showed up to work on it.

Mom is doing better, walking more and farther. She won't get out until all her water weight is gone.

The post about your friend was interesting, showed that H really cared at one time. Hopefully friend didn't suffer much, cancer can be so painful.

Mike

[grid, lost]

The guys are asking me if I want to take their OT calls. I'm taking sunday it's double time. The windstar was a bank repo

, t

The post about your friend was interesting, showed that H really cared at one time. Hopefully friend didn't suffer much, cancer can be so painful.

Double time, wow, you will have the finances caught up in no time on that one. Now becareful and don't over work (hours/wk.) yourself. Remember stitch in chest need lots of time to set and heal.
I have not talked with Bill's wife yet. I so hope he did not suffer alot. Spoke with him just couple days before Thanksgiving and he was back painting. Planning to mark a couple days in Jan to go visit and first needed to call for best days. I am really in shock and so sad.
H, the painting example is how he treated me for 20yrs.and I same for him!!! That sorta love does not die or leave. WE had way to much of once in a life time stresses hit our house all at once. Then he had the OW who always gets involved with guys 20 ++ her age. So OW said come I can save you. All I can hope for is this spring the fire can return somehow. Going to give him a birthday gift. B day is Feb 8th and plan to have Retro on wings. I am going to ask H to come to Retro at very least so i can have closuer. Then I guess marriage will be a marriage of convience for us. Don't know what else to do. The pain is to much for me. I so admire those who can go at this DB, etc. for a couple yrs. Of course, H left 10-2006, so it has been quite a bit of time. All my friends say if OW had not done what she did we would have worked out the M problems. NO one doubts this. They are not just saying that so I feel better either.
Funny most of the Woman here on boards after about my time start to do what I am doing, question all of this. Just how long does one keep on with only hope?? See my name does fit, I'm lost.
later,
grid, lost

[grid, lost]

mike,
oops, forgot to ask. How did you find the car?? Bank have it listed in paper or you know someone at the bank to call to inquire???

Thing with the R that floors me is H will not address anything. H will not even answer the smallest question, not one. I mean he is silent or will answer if he will answer, I don't know. So how can DB ever work? Wish I had the money to hire coach, really do.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

The van was sitting outside of the bank. It's a small local bank, manager said if it wasn't gone by Fri he was going to call a wholesaler.

I know about the feeling of hopelessness and despair. W has been out of home since May. I hope she thinks about things but how can she when she is usually sleeping? I want to bring up retro again, tell her like you say for closure. I think she has this vision in her head if she D's me her M'd OM will leave his wife and come running.

Until the last time I talked with W she wouldn't say much more than we grew apart. The last time she brought up some things that pushed her away. I just wonder if she thought I was moving on and seeing someone would that have an effect on her? I talked to my aunt(she's more like a sister, only 6 years older), she said I could stay at her house some nights and let W wonder where i was, did I spend the night with someone. I think W thinks I will be waiting at home until she feels like coming back.

Mike

[grid, lost]

The van was sitting outside of the bank.

Some people have all the brakes !!!!! No punt intended !

I know about the feeling of hopelessness and despair. W has been out of home since May.

thanks it all really wears me down, very down.

Until the last time I talked with W she wouldn't say much more than we grew apart. The last time she brought up some things that pushed her away.

Mike,
something just hit me. Just a thought for you. Rather than try to bring up with W the problms that caused her to leave. Stay positive, talk about current events, talk about her and ask for Retro. Let the problem solving take place within a safe environment. That way by accident you will not push one of her buttons and drive her further away.
just a thought
grid, lost