HELP!! my 25 y/o H walked out... maybe mlc? HELP!!

[cat03]

I found a book my H wrote in, about how he was head over heels in love, how ow was his everything, how nothing compared to her, etc etc. Later on H told me he was deluded, she didnt' even want to call him "boyfriend" it was a weird R. Four mths into the separation he was planning getting a condo (with the proceeds from selling our home after our "divorce") He had a new life all planned out for him, he had no kids to take care of during nights and weekends and days off, he did as he pleased. It was a temporary thing, eventually ow revealed herself and his depression sunk him even lower.
I'm afraid it will be many months before the newness of the A vanishes.

It seems hopeless but don't give up. GAL, work on yourself, allow this trial to shape you into a better you, so that no matter what happens you will be a better person.

Here is a great read on emotional retarded men:

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About the only people more dangerous than philandering men going through life with an open fly and romantic damsels going through life in perennial distress, are emotionally retarded men in love. When such men go through a difficult transition in life, they hunker down and ignore all emotions. Their brain chemistry gets depressed, but they don't know how to feel it as depression. Their loved ones try to kee from bothering them, try to keep things calm and serene - and isolate them further

An emotionally retarded man may go for a time without feeling pleasure, pain, or anything else, untd a strange woman jerks him back into awareness of something intense enough for him to feel it - perhaps sexual fireworks, or the boyish heroics of rescuing hff, or perhaps just fascination with her constantly changing moods and never-ending emotional crises.

With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn't know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn't work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.

What he needs is not a crazier woman to sacrifice his life for, but treatment for his depression. However, since the best home remedies for depression are sex, exercise, joy, and triumph, the dangerous damsel may be providing one or more of them in a big enough dose to make him feel a lot better. He may feel pretty good until he gets the bill, and sees how much of his life and the lives of his loved ones this treatment is costing. Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last long.