PS, Matilda, Jak, Being, and Aud, Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday at my dance venue. There is a weekly ritual in which those with birthdays get the dance floor, and partners of the opposite sex (usually) line-up to dance and extend their best wishes. It's a wonderful ritual, that promotes connection in the dance community.
I was content to be low-key about my birthday, but had decided that if my name was announced for the birthday dance, I would participate. My W joined me last night, and did behind the scenes work of passing around a card, promoting my birthday, and organizing the dance. It was a special and memorable moment, and I'm grateful to my W for allowing it to happen.
She still pesters me to get a new job or PT job. I respond with some irritation that I'm quite happy where I'm at, and that I feel that I make a respectable salary to contribute to the household. She responds that I than need to help in other ways to increase household income. I told her that I would assist in doing research for rental property. My conflict management book advises to think in terms of what the other person desires, and not accept their initial position if you deem it to be unfair.
I'm reading The Art of Friendship, by Roger Horchow. One of his ideas, is that we should be grateful for any positive relationship we have in our life, even if it's an acquaintance. I'm trying to be mindful of this. I'm also trying to be more proactive about cultivating connection with people, and starting meaningful conversations, by asking questions that I believe the other person would be interested in talking about.
My W is now working only her cooking job. We'll see how she adapts to her free time.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
