Have been thinking how close your feelings are with OM to mine. I too have been desperate for an apology and "attonement" but I have come to accept that there's only a remote possibility of this coming. In fact I have a feeling W thinks she's done me a favour! Saved me from myself. Now while this does have a ring of truth to it, I have a problem understanding how that absolves her from a heartfelt apology.
But this whole sitch is not fair and I cling onto the line I have read several times - what do you want? your W or to be right?
If your W is anything like mine, she'll be hurting pretty badly and struggling to sift through lots of possibilities and scenarios. I don't think there would be any ground to be gained through pushing for an apology.
Is there anything in W's actions which can show intent or point to her feelings - is there a possibility that these can "tell" you something which you're not hearing but which in reality could be much more valuable to you than words which, after all, have in all likelihood been used previously to deceive you - they certainly were in my case.
I still think there is more positive stuff here than meets the eye - like a "tell" if you like in poker if you like.
Best - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
