Man the world just keeps shaking, I hope I don't drop it!
I'm sick as can be with S's cold now. Gotta love daycare. Well prior to hitting a meeting I TM'ed W to let her know that I probably wasn't going to work tomorrow and if she wanted me to take S to daycare, or if she wanted me to bring him to her in the morning.
She got right back and said she was feeling so much better and would watch him tonight so I could sleep. So I hit up a meeting and then made my way to W's house. She was wearing the PJ's I got her for X-mas and the necklace again is back on.
She asked me to hang for a bit, said I looked like I was picking up some good weight and looked good. I've been hitting the gym a lot lately. When I got ready to leave I initiated a hug, but not a couples hug, the one arm over the shoulder pat on the back, butt out and no push for some closeness. It really threw her, she was trying to pull me close and I just said "Your awesome! Keep being a great mom."
I got a why are you acting so diffrent. We haven't really spent any real time together since X-mas, and I was half tanked and basically handed her her gifts and walked out. All I said is it's been some time without booze and I just feel good. She then asked where she thought we were going with things, all I said is "It is up to God and his will."
She is back on her heels right now for sure. I just feel good about life, and don't need a drink, and what happens will happen. Just realizing I'm not the director and have to let go of control and do what I can with what I got.
