I don't _want_ divorce, but I don't want to retrun to the pain again either.
If you have any hope in you for your marriage, then don't push the divorce. Make up in your mind what he must do to regain your trust. Discuss with your counselor. Don't give your H any ultimatums. Just let him know that you felt/feel hurt over things he has/hasn't said and done.
If he can step to the plate and work with you, which will include discussing what hurt(s) him, you may yet bust this divorce. If he cannot or will not be a partner to you, well, there are a lot of us here who've been through that. You'll get through it, too, if you have to.
But as long as you don't feel that you've reached the point of divorcing, don't push it. Protect yourself, legally, financially, and emotionally while you see what he'll do. If you get to the point of divorce, you'll feel better later if you know that you left no stone unturned trying to save your marriage.
Hugs and prayers,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
It would help if I could communicate with him without going off the deep end. I say a lot of things on here and to my friends but I wonder how much of it h knows or understands. I have rarely been able to spill my guts calmly to him and feel like he understands what I'm saying.
Maybe your counselor can help with that. I had a terrible time biting my tongue when my ex-wife would provoke me.
It's important to remember that you can't wish changes in him into being. So you have to adopt the strategies that will work with him, as best you can, without being untrue to your core beliefs. So if robbing a bank and buying him a new car is what it takes, you don't have to go there.
At the same time, you need to protect yourself from any craziness on his part. The parenting plan is a good idea. How to get his cooperation seems to be the stumbling block right now. What has worked to get him on board with decisions in the past, or at least to get him to participate?
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
