LRT UNDER SAME ROOF III

[I_Wanna_Make_It_Work]

craig, again, from a year down the road and looking back, I can tell you that this is sometimes/often how people work toward fixing things. It's what my W did. She had to distance herself before she came to terms with how insignificant our "problems" were and before coming to the realization that we could overcome these issues very easily - now that I was paying attention. Now that I moved toward the agape love scriptures talks about. You are there. Stay there. Let God whisper His will to your W, and He will. My W said to me, "I now know how much you love me. It was all the other junk that got in the way (of us truly moving forward in the M)". She couldn't have seen this from where she was. She had to distance herself.

And, in case you missed it ........

she says she cannot start fresh with me because she feels no attraction like a wife should for her husband

......... she just gave you the biggest clue.

Scripturally (and even on a secular level), what characteristics make a man/husband attractive? What are the traits? Leadership (Noah), Wisdom (Solomon), Love (Christ), Strength (David), Spirituality (all of the above and more). This IS our role as husbands and leaders of the family. And these traits, many secular researchers will tell you, are what makes a man attractive. It's not about looks. It's about your soul. There's your job - defined by your W - for the next few months. Make yourself attractive - on a secular level and in accordance with scripture.

Just my two cents ....

[craig54]

cog, quick question, did you ever tell your wife you would fight for her?

[Drew]

Be the greener grass.

-Drew

[craig54]

phil, thanks for the clarity.

[craig54]

anne, i was just thinking about the depth of my love for my wife. i cannot even describe it. that is why it hurts so much.

[COG]

cog, quick question, did you ever tell your wife you would fight for her?

Yep! I remember the first time. It happened when we were separated, but still doing family things together. We were at a friends house one afternoon, several parents, kids, etc. I think it was somebody's birthday. Anyway, there's this single guy there. He's an officer, I won't say what branch. Anyway, he's a clean cut, burly, outgoing guy. He and my W spent quite a lot of time chatting, giggling etc.

At first it stabbed me like a hot knife in the chest to witness this. I just wanted to cease breathing, die and get thrown in a ditch to rot. So I took a break and went out front, sat in the car for awhile. I started thinking about it, and I realized I was friggin tired of being crapped on. I could sit back and let more crap get dumped on me, or I could stand and fight. So after awhile I went back in, with a different attitude.

I didn't create a scene or anything, but I just ignored my W and the other guy. I did my best to have a good time. After the party, when the time was right, I brought it up. I told her how it felt to watch her chatting with him. I also told her that I wasn't about to stand back and let another man have my woman. I'm a pretty low key guy, not a muscle man by any means, not a fighter at all, but she knows I have a little crazy streak. I looked her in the eye and told her that I'd tear that bastard into pieces. I told her that he'd probably beat the crap out of me but he'd have to kill me to get me to give up. I'd jump on his shoulders and tear his friggin head right off.

Every once in awhile I'll throw some brovado at her like that. I actually think she likes knowing that I'd go to battle for her.

I'm sure she questions my ability to perform these heroic acts, but she doesn't doubt my determination and lack of fear.

It was a good move for me, but I think the timing and delivery need to be just right, on Gods direction.

God Bless,

COG

[craig54]

cog, your sense of humor is priceless. "tear his friggin head off"
i would pay to see that.

[COG]

I was dead serious at the time. Not angry or out of control, but matter of fact, with a little killer instinct thrown in. At the time I said it, I wouldn't have hesitated to jump into the lions den. NO FEAR!

God hates a coward! (I know that isn't true, but it used to motivate me on the golf course)

Love,

COG

[craig54]

clear soft voice of holy spirit, stay out of the Lords way, do not be a hindrance

[craig54]

wife is suppose to file today, i am without emotion right now. interesting. this will not change my approach. because i know how hard this is for her. she is torn up. i dont intend to make her feel worse. the Lord Jesus is working, i just need to stay out of the way. love her . period.